8-1-08
Advice from the Other Side of the Audition
Joe Wycoff thinks theatres and casting people need some audition rules, too.
There is a prominent theatre in Chicago for whom I will no longer audition. One long, hot summer I was called in to read the same material for the same people—not scenes with different pairings, but monologues—five times. I would arrive at the audition space to find no signage and no staff. They would wander out 10 minutes past my scheduled time and ask if I could wait 15 minutes or so. They loved to send me sides that were just a few pages shorter than the full script. Friendly as they were, they quite obviously saw nothing wrong with running a shoddy audition, which led me to decide that I just didn’t need them, and that’s a shame. Don’t get me wrong, actors are a study in screw-ups, but the world is full of audition advice for actors. But who tells the house? I do, that’s who. And so, for the edification of any potential auditor, the Top Six Ways You Screw Up My Audition.
1) No time. If you have asked for three minutes of audition material, do not schedule three minute slots. Give yourself enough time to ask a question or two, accommodate the inevitable late or chatty actor, and catch up if you get behind. If you want breaks, schedule them. If you are late, please tell me. Please do not stop for lunch when you are behind. Please do not have a five minute chat with your buddy about the last show you did. If your auditions always seem to run behind, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. Please try to stay on schedule and do not waste my time.
2) No clue. How many times have I spent precious pre-audition minutes wandering around a building or a city block because the auditors didn’t put up any signage? Too many. Then you are behind schedule, and I am coming in frazzled. Post something—instructions with arrows and diagrams.
3) No bodies. You cannot run an audition by yourself. Stop trying. Get someone to be a proctor, someone outside the room to let people know what’s going on, and maybe reshuffle the schedule to get you back on time. Get someone inside the room to fetch things if you need them. If you need readers, get them, and let them read over the material beforehand. There is nothing worse as an actor than preparing for an audition only to have the person opposite you misread, drop cues, and generally c*ck-block your audition.
4) No sides. I have been to auditions where there was only one set of sides, and those had to go into the room with whoever was reading. Bring enough sides. Have them organized and numbered so that we do not waste time shuffling paper. (See Proctor above.) If you send me sides beforehand, do not send me 30 pages when you will only want to see one; then I squander my prep time on material that you will never see. And make sure that you can read your own photocopies and scans before you send them out.
5) No manners. I’m not talking about giving actors lattes and backrubs here, I’m talking about common courtesy. As actors we attend a mix of auditions, some with handshakes and laughter and song before we read; others where we get straight to business—and that’s fine, but you are the host of this little party, and we look to you for cues as to what is appropriate behavior. I have walked into auditions where none of the auditors spoke a word for the duration of my stay. Conversely, I have found directors accompanied by an entourage who chattered and snickered and milled about. Please treat us with the same respect any other potential employer would show any other potential employee.
6) No plan. These days I try to schedule callbacks for the afternoon because of too many morning callbacks in which it was obvious that the auditor had no idea what he was looking for or how to find it. Many a time I have arrived in time for the morning Side Hunt—release the hounds! As the first audition of the day, I have been asked to cold read a scene with an intern while the next two auditioners were outside getting to run through the scene together. I have been asked to “try doing this piece without words, but make each word clear... I’m not sure what I’m looking for here….” I don’t mind experimenting or trying different things to see how actors work together. I do mind being the test case for an audition plan that you will refine later in the day.
And one last note: headshots cost money. There are houses who ask me to bring one to every audition and callback. I have sent these theatres a headshot at least once during the year. I know they have enough shots of me to paper the Sistine Chapel, but they still take one from me every time. And they still call me at the wrong contact number.
Don’t. Please don’t.